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About fears

Switching job is scary, meeting new people, and falling in love is all scary. So if you are going to try something new, try something that scares you, because sometimes the scariest things give the most beautiful journeys.

I read this a few days ago and began to reflect on fear, and while it may appear that this feeling is there to ruin or sabotage you, I have come to understand that it is there to teach you something, along with the full range of emotions that we as humans are lucky to be able to feel; sadness, happiness, anger, surprise, disgust, frustration, love, and so on.

From personal experience, I know that when fear takes control of you, it can paralyze you and make it difficult to achieve your goals by filling you with negative thoughts (loops) and making you want to give up or even refuse to try something new (Procrastination).

During this reflection, two types of fears popped up for me, which I'd like to talk in this post:

  • Fear of failure, of not achieving it, of being exposed or feeling embarrassed, so you don't try, and you tell yourself that everything is fine, or not so bad (comfort zone), and then the phrase "para que le muevo" even though inside you there is a little voice that also tells you that you want more or that you deserve more, but you stop listening to it because there is another little voice that reminds you of past events that did not go as planned (and you got hurt) or that this new thing you want is a difficult task with a lot of uncertainty ahead of you.

And this uncertainty leads me to the other fear,

  • Fear of success, ¡ay Jazzibe, tú otra vez! who is afraid that things will go well? indeed it is something uncertain and beyond your control, where you may have more difficult tasks or responsibilities, or where you will have to find new ways to relate to someone. Perhaps you should relocate or learn each other's love language.

So, if you can't stop being afraid, haz las cosas con miedo, like apply for your dream job, ask your crush out, start a new hobby or learn a new skill, haz lo que deseas, and along the way listen to it, embrace it (meditation helps), and it will go away, or rather it will become your friend. In the end, things may not work out for you, but you will have the pleasant satisfaction of having tried and, more importantly, learning.

Here are some of the things I've been learning and they have helped me when I feel that fear paralyzes me, I would like to share.

  • Define your goal in such a way that you can visualize (clarito, clarito) it in your mind as if it were happening.Then, as a movie, visualize each of the steps you need to take to get there, either backwards or forwards.

  • Write them down, sí, escribelos. (It is not enough to think about them). Then you will be dividing a large task into smaller ones that you can complete, describing how you will do it, setting a deadline for them, and including them in your planning. (una agenda ayuda)

  • If you feel unmotivated along the way, go back to your main goal, that will motivate you, you can put reminders around you, (post-it, alarms, emails to yourself). Surround yourself with people who motivate you (support group), who help you grow, they will also work as a reminder and believe me, they will not let you throw in the towel. (Gracias, porque tengo a los mejores)

  • If you don't know how to do something, ask for help; you will always find someone with more experience who is glad to help you; listen to them and reflect.

  • Discipline yourself, work on it, prioritize activities, and delegate; it's not about how much work you do, but about how smartly you work.

Take care of yourself, mentally and physically, by eating well, exercising, and going to therapy (YES, therapy, it's part of asking for help and getting to know yourself)( no solo los locos toman terapia, osea sí lo estoy un poquito, pero ese es otro tema). This also helps you change your negative loops for positive ones, and allows you to cultivate your relationships with family and friends. Work hard and play hard.

Last but not least, believe in yourself.

You are enough!

(eres un chignon o chingona)

As I mentioned it , even if you do all this things, things may not work out; (sorry, asi es la vida) your crush may have a partner, or may not like you, or you end up with a broken heart (otra vez), or you fall climbing and someone laughed at you, or you receive an email that said that they will not continue with your application, or you realize that the principles and values of that group or person do not align with your , etc. However, you will have learned a lot about others and yourself along the way and you will keep the feeling that you did your best.

And there's always the chance that everything goes well and you meet someone amazing (como te lo recomendó el doctor) that you enjoy your hobby and go every weekend, that you have more friends, or that you get the job of your dreams

Everything can happen, and keep in mind that

you miss 100% of the shots you never take.

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